In the last blog post of this series I talked about how you can get a girl to like you by being able to share a little bit of your childhood with her. As you start getting more experience in sharing your childhood stories, you’ll inevitably find that some childhood stories are going to bring laughter to her.

While there are certain formulas for telling humourous stories and there are certain jokes that you can learn, you won’t be able to get a girl to like you for a long time if you keep ripping off material from other people. That’s like you posing to be a novelist but all you’re doing is writing the exact same words from Harry Potter or a Stephen King novel.

If you look at the different structures of the majority of jokes that your friends are telling, these jokes usually have a simple set up. They involve leading a person through a story that flows, and at the very last moment a punch line is delivered that is so off from what people expected that it makes them laugh.

Try Out Different Material to See What’s Funny

The trouble with all of this is that even the greatest comedians know that not everything they can possibly say is going to be funny. This is why they constantly try out new material in front of small audiences. Some of it stinks worse than horse crap, but others rock. It’s about trial and error. And that means you’ve got to take some chances in trying to be funny and finding out what works for you and your personality.

There are Always Common Situations Where You Have a Chance to be Funny

What’s interesting is that we are creatures of habits. Therefore we often create specific conversational situations that repeat again and again with different people. When these similar conversational situations happen, they also present us a great opportunity to show off our humour. We may not tell the exact same joke in a given situation, but we’ll give a similar joke that’s the same conceptually.

An Example of How I was Funny to a Girl

For example one of the techniques I used to do to make girls laugh before was this, let’s use a real life case. When I worked at cafe as a barista, I watched a girl come in with a hoodie that had the Toronto FC’s (the city’s soccer team) logo on it. I asked her if she was from Toronto and she said yes. I then asked her if she was a fan of the soccer team and she told me she was. I then looked at her with some slight disappointment, and shook my head, and told her, “It could have been the start of a beautiful friendship. But I’m a Vancouver White Caps fan and therefore it makes us mortal enemies.” Of course I’m saying this in a playful tone while smiling. She then smiles and laughs.

The structure in this case is simple, find out some “self label” she’s attached to but not too attached, find something that’s opposite of that, and tell her you can’t be: lovers, friends, daters, or married. But do it while smiling and sounding playfully disappointed.

Take Improvisational Classes

Someone at a conference asked me do I naturally put in humor during my networking workshops. Until he pointed it out, I had never even considered it a part of my public speaking. But how I believe it all came along was because I took Improvisational acting classes.

If you ever go to see a professional improv show, it’s pretty rare that someone is going to do a drama scene out of thin air. There tends to be a focus on challenging people to be in the moment and flow with it. It forces you to be creative without planning and without strategy. You are bound by certain rules by certain games, but those rules are designed to push you forward into the wonderful, whimsical, humourous world of comedy. To break these rules is to break the basics of comedy.

If you ever want to get good at being funny in the moment, and you’re serious about improving your dating and conversation skills then you should definitely go and take an improv class. Especially if you find yourself to be a bit of a dry person. It will sharpen your wit since most improv does not allow for racist or bathroom humor. Improv relies on pure wit.

Go study some jokes, try some of your own, and go take an improv class. In the next article of this series, I’ll be talking about being spontaneous.

Until then, have fun telling jokes!

I think we’ve all been in a situation where we’re talking to a person and he ends up talking about something that makes our head dizzy. Usually it’s about a topic that is so detailed and technical, such as the how a circuirt board is made, or how plumbing in our houses work, that our head spins.

What do you do if you need to explain a confusing concept to the every day Jack and Jill? So not only will they understand what you are saying, but they will find what you are saying absolutely fascinating?

The Beauty of Metaphors

The beaty of all science, nature, art and all things technical is that every detail can be compared to another more relatable concept.
And the use of using metaphors can help make explaining complex concepts into fun and exciting conversations.

I’m not a software programmer, so I don’t know much about the languages that are used to write software. However I know that some people talk about writing a program, and the types of languages they have to use, and then they go into details that makes my head spin.

When you need to talk about such concepts to people are not familiar with what you are doing, you need to use metaphors to help them understand.

There are many people who are not familiar with computer programming languages. And they may not understand why people want to be a computer programmer, but let’s say you tell people, “Let me try to explain it in these terms.”

“Imagine building a house, you have an image of how the house is supposed to be, and how it’s supposed to look. You have all the tools, and now it has to be built in a specific order or else the house will turn out badly in one way or another. The foundation needs to be built and then another piece and then another. So when it’s all done correctly, a beautiful house has been built, in which some parts people see, and other parts people don’t.

“Computer programming is the same thing. It’s to build this beautiful program that people can use to make their life easier. To be able to find the right way to build this program so that it creates this beautiful house. Every detail is intricate and must be dealt with with great care. Or else like a house, it will crumble or mistakes will be found afterwards. But the goal is to build something that people will love to use and enjoy.”

Simplify

Whether you are are explaining concepts to co workers during a presentation, or you’re on a date with someone who wants to know more about your job then take the time to think about about a metaphor that helps people understand the concept you are trying to convey.

Metaphors are beautiful. They have a way of simplifying what you want to say in a way that makes people feel comfortable and relaxed.

The key is to be able to use a metaphor that is relates to every day living. If you explain a concept and compare it to another confusing concept you’re just going to get the person even more dazed and confused.

How Would You Explain it to a Person in Grade 6?

I want you to imagine that you had to explain the concept to a person in grade 6. Would he or she understand what you’re trying to convey? Would you even use that type of language to begin with? Probably not. You would try to explain to someone in grade 6 in more simplified terms. As we grow older we become more knowledgeable, but we can’t learn everything. Make it easy for people to understand you, the moment you intentionally or unintentionally make someone feel stupid, is the moment you’ve lost them.

And true charisma comes from taking the most complex, and making it beautiful, simple and understandable.

In the last part of these maxi series we were talking about how to use flirting to get a girl to like you. In this article we talk about the importance of taking charge in planning a date to get a girl to like you.

This has got to be one of the most important aspects of dating and about being a man.
I can guarantee, that you, or someone you know has created this scene in real life.

Guy: “What would you like to do?”
Girl: “I’m not sure, what would you like to do?”
Guy: “Is there any place you would like to go or try?”
Girl: “I’m not sure, is there any place you think that would be good?”

When I see this conversation happen, it makes me cringe, because it’s turn off to girls and women. Women don’t need a man that’s indecisive. Women need a man that can take charge and be assertive and plan a date, or event. And when you can do those things, it shows you have strength. And inner strength is what will get a girl to like you.

Is it Possible to be Overly Considerate?

I know that when a guy is asking a girl what she wants to do, he’s trying to be considerate. He’s trying to be gentlemanly, and he’s the type that fits into the “nice guy” category. But there’s such a thing as being too considerate. Let’s imagine that you and the girl are waiting at a bus stop, you insist that she goes first, then she insists you go first, you continue to do that 2 or 3 times with each other. The bus driver gets impatient and eventually drives off. In the end nobody wins.

Being considerate is good, and it’s a character that is a must when you want to be with anybody in a long term relationship, but overdoing it can be hurtful. Too much of anything isn’t good.

Take Charge, Especially If it’s Your First Date Out:

If you’re talking to a girl over the phone and you’re trying to set up a date, ensure that YOU take charge and set up the date. You want to be able to get her to focus on the excitement of the date, not about the logistics, or where she needs to go, or what type of food to eat. If she has to worry about dealing with such small details then that means in her eyes you’re not a real man. What will happen when it’s time to buy a home, or plan out a marriage, or worse yet plan out the next date?

Yes it seems like it’s a bit of an exaggeration, but women will look at the smallest details and interpret them into bigger elements of whether you’re relationship material or even worth going on another date.

My Conversation with A Brunette Over the Phone:

I was on a phone with brunette one time, someone I had met after a Hallowe’en speed dating event. She was fun, gorgeous and was even nice enough to give me a book on our first date. I still have that book to this date.

During the first conversation, I asked her what she was doing on Thursday night, she said she wasn’t doing much. I go, “Perfect, let’s meet up at the Granville Room this Thursday at 8pm. I’ll see you there.” What she said afterward was a complete shock to me.

“Oh my gawd, that is so HOT.” I was a little puzzled. “Excuse me? You mean the fact that I set up our date?” I said with a bit of hesitation.
“YES! Too many guys I meet are always too polite, asking me what I want to do.”

I was flattered by the response.

She was a beautiful girl that was too used to dating guys that were too accommodating. She wasn’t looking for a chauvinistic guy that was going to make all the decisions for her, but she needed to know that she was going on a date with a guy who knew how to take charge.

She wanted to go on a date with a guy who didn’t feel intimidated by her beauty. In the end, no matter what kind of front women put up with men, they all want to date a guy that is emotionally stronger than she is. No women wants to date a guy who is more submissive. She won’t respect him.

What Can You do To Take Charge?

Next time you plan to ask a girl out on a date. Take charge of where, when, and what you’ll do. It’s that simple.

But this must be developped into a habit. If you only do it for the first three dates, then she’s going to see right through your laziness to plan dates. And you’ll get the “When we first started dating, you used to take initiative to plan out our dates, now you’re a fat lazy no good bum that watches TV all the time.” Well she won’t say it like that, but she’ll be thinking that. You want to develop the habit of taking charge of your dates.

But let’s say she decides that she doesn’t like the place you’ve offered to go on the first date. Then give her the option of choosing a place. If she can’t choose one, then give her three options to choose from. If she can’t choose, then make the decision for her, and assure her that she’ll have a great time.

Taking charge of a date isn’t the only way to get a girl to like you. Learning to take control of the conversation is just as important. If she ends up controlling most of the conversation, she’ll perceive that as a weakness and will eventually be turned off.

What do you think, do you believe that taking charge of a date is important to getting a girl to like you?