Overcoming Approach Anxiety- Push Your Conversation Forward
I just finished teaching my last class for this term’s course at the Vancouver School Board. And I’m looking forward to the next term to teach my course, Art of Conversation. Some people ask me how to start conversations, overcoming approach anxiety, and a lot of people ask how do you transition from one topic to another, but mostly it seems like people get discouraged from pushing their conversation forward.
Starting a conversation is never easy, it’s rather difficult, and then trying to continue the conversation after the first minute is hard too. But what I’ve found is that people can be really hesitant at first to talk to you (especially under situations like the grocery market, book store and so forth) , and so sometimes the best thing to do is to continue the conversation even if you are uncomfortable. Your feet may want to walk away, but you have to keep your feet planted. Mentally you have to be in the uncomfort zone. I find that 90 percent of people will never talk to a random stranger on the street…and then what ends up happening is that even fewer will push beyond the first minute of talking. It’s just too much pressure.
Just Push to the 3 Minute Mark
One of the rules that I’ve found happen when talking to strangers in unconventional places is to push to the three minute mark. What I call the three minute rule. Ask questions about the other person, but remember to share something about yourself as well. This way when you reveal a little bit about yourself, the other person begins to know that you’re not a serious threat to them. During the first three minutes I find that people are assessing each other to see if they are a potential threat, something our brains have been trained to do (safety is the mind’s first priority). Also what can happen is that the adrenaline can be shooting straight up, and the body needs a few minutes to calm itself down.
You need to push the conversation until it hits three minutes, and you’ll find that many people will feel much more comfortable talking to you. They just need to let their nerves settle down a little bit.
So whether you’re at a netorking event, practicing picking up a woman or a man, or at a party, just keep pushing a little bit. People will tend to relax as time goes on and on.
For more Conversation Tips on overcoming your approach anxiety, check out Art of Conversation: Enhance Your Charisma for Success for FREE for 45 Days.
Technorati Tags: Vancouver School Board, Art of Conversation, conversation, Starting a conversation, talk, picking up a woman or a man, party
Related posts:
Do you need help with Conversations, Making Friends or Your Dating Life?
Comments on this entry are closed.
{ 1 trackback }