Sometimes you meet strangers you click with right away. These people can soon become your best friends. Other times there are people you meet who you don’t click with. Where you hope they will become good friends of yours, but they end up being a level above strangers.
Making friends can be easy or it can be hard. It depends on the amount of effort you put into developing these types of relationships from the start and how much you care about other people. In order to make it easier to make friends, avoid making these top three mistakes.
Reason Number 3: You Never Follow Up with an Interesting Offer
When it comes to making friends there are two types of people. There are the people who start friendships, and there are the people who wait for others to start friendships. In order to be successful at making good friends and a lot of friends you have be the person to initiate invitations and gatherings.
Don’t wait around for people call you to go out. Once you have gotten their contact information then take charge and call them out. If we all waited for things to happen, then nothing would ever happen. Nothing would ever be created. Think about all the missed opportunities and great friendships that are missed because you decided not to make a simple call or e-mail to send an invitation.
The other important thing is to ensure that if you do invite new people to an event, then you should invite them to an irresistible event to attend. Ask them to come out to a fun activity such as going to an amusement park, to a themed costume party, or a volunteer event. But it should an event that people consider different and fun.
It’s okay to ask new people out for coffee. The trouble with coffee is that there so much pressure to focus on talking. People are always going out for coffee and it’s not the not the most exciting activity in the world. By going to an interesting and lively place like an amusement park we can alleviate the stress of trying to always keep the conversation flowing and allowing people to focus on the experience of being friends. Talking doesn’t make friends, experiences do.
Reason Number 2: Not Following Up Frequently with People
If you’ve initiated a friendship, and you’ve asked people to come out, you need to be able to meet with them on a regular basis. Chances are slim to none if you’ve met someone once you won’t be able to be their BFF (Best Friend Forever). What needs to be done is to follow up with with person frequently. This could be contacting this person every two weeks, or to invite them to have lunch every month.
As a person sees you more and more she will become more at ease with you. And that’s when friendships can really develop. When you start to see people on a more regular basis and they feel more comfortable being around you.
Reason Number 1: You Don’t Care About Other People
The number one reason why friendships never form is because people don’t feel that they are genuinely being cared for. If we always care about what we have to say and we don’t care about others, then we’re being selfish. Developing good friendships is a two way street.
It requires that you share parts about your life with another person, and that another person shares their life with you. But for people to open up they need to know you care about who they are. They need to know that you take an active interest in their life. They need to know that you’re not always going to be talking about yourself. They need to know that you appreciate their humour.
I’m not saying that you should bend over backwards to please everybody. I’m saying that if you adopt that attitude that you care, and that you are curious about other people you will attract more and better friends in life.
I had two close friends of mine who helped me throw a party together. We had over 40 people come. It was exciting, fun and a night to remember. We had a DJ playing music, we had two bartenders serving up the best drinks that almost everyone enjoyed. However the toughest part was the clean up. It was my two closest friends who came back the next morning to help me scrub the floors, throw away all the trash and ensure that the place was sparkling clean. They cared, and that’s why even today after so many years we’re still considered the best of friends.
If you are looking for ways to emotionally connect with people to develop great friendships, then check out the book Art of Conversation: Enhance Your Charisma For Success.
What do you believe are some mistakes that people make when they initiate friendships with you? Share your thoughts with us.
Related posts:
- The One Mistake You May be Making That’s Killing Your Friendships
- Are You Happy About Your Friendships?
- The Top Four Reasons Why She Dumped You (Part 1 of 4)
- Top Four Reasons Why She Dumped You (Part 4 of 4)
- Top Four Reasons She Dumped You (Part 2 of 4)
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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
I need to make sure I don’t do #2. It’s so hard to follow-up with people. It can be exhausting!