I’ve realized that there’s nothing more important in my life than my girlfriend. She’s been absolutely wonderful in my life. She pushes me to be better. She challenges me to be a better man. She’s also supportive of my dream to be able to help 2 million singles find the love of their life that will commit to them forever. After all, over 71,000 plus couples are divorcing in Canada every year.
I also realize that though we love each other, after having some serious talks, it takes much more than love to grow our relationship. If love was the key factor than all my previous ex girlfriends should have been the ones I was dating for over two years.
Romantic Love Is a Terrible Feeling to Have
Romantic Love is a terrible feeling. It plays tricks on us. It makes us feel emotions that are strong. It makes us woozy and do irrational things. And most of all, love will come and go as it pleases.
Romantic Love is a hard feeling to maintain all the time. Even when people claim to be crazily in love with each other you’ll find when you dive deeper you’ll see that every loving couple has some points in the relationship where they don’t feel loving and caring. They will feel anger, they will feel upset or they will feel hurt.
The trouble with love is that love can come and go as it pleases. One moment you can love someone after meeting them for a month, but at the same time it can easily just leave the next.
Some researchers believe that love is a chemical process that goes through the brain, or that love is a process. And that when we can discover the process of how we love someone we can use it to our advantage. Even manipulate it.
This is why romantic love can be deadly when forming relationships. It can be our friend one moment and it can be our worst enemy the next day.
A Job Can Not Be Maintained on Desire Alone
There are often messages in our heads, usually provided by romantic movies, that somehow love will conquer all. That if people love each other enough that they will be able to have the fairy tale ending they are always looking for.
But a relationship can not survive on love. Just like a job can not survive on the idea of “I really like this job.” When I was working as a manager, there was an associate who loved working for us. She was excited about working for us and made it very clear. She was enthused and always did the best she could. But I soon realized that she didn’t have the necessary skills to carry out the job as I had hoped. I soon had to let her go. To this day I don’t think there was anyone who wanted to work with us as badly as she did.
The point is that the desire to work for a company is in no way going to dictate that the person is a good fit for the company. This is of course is obvious. Yet we adopt that attitude when it comes to forming long term relationships. We keep hoping that love will free us of our conflicts. That love will provide us solutions.
If this is the mindset you have then you need to be very careful of how you approach your future relationship.
Commitment to Communication with Each Other is More Important than Love
While having love is important in a relationship. To ensure that the long lasting love that’s needed to form a successful relationship, there needs to be a commitment to communicate.
Most relationships break down long before the relationships have even started. The communication skills that we have (or lack of) will become obvious once we enter into a relationship. In the relationship realm you will find out how good you are at managing conflict, practicing your listening skills, emotionally connecting with him or her, and ways to make your partner feel valued and cherished.
Committing to being a better communicator is key to having a successful relationship. Committing yourself to always being a better communicator when you’re in a relationship will help it succeed and grow.
You may love someone. You may be absolutely crazy about her. But I guarantee that if you run into a roadblock in the relationship that challenges your personal values, you’re not going to feel loving at that moment. Commit to being a better communicator and not only will it help you in creating a long lasting loving relationship, it will make you happier in all aspects of your life.
And best of all it will help you appreciate the person for who he really is. Not what you imagined him to be. Sometimes the opposite happens. You may find out that you’re both not compatible to be in a relationship together. That’s good! This way both people can move on to finding the right partner in their life.
Go and read relationship books. Find out the beliefs and values that successful couples have. Learn to read books on how to handle conflict. Or try out my book.
What do you believe? Do you believe that communication is more important than love? Vice Versa? Or you need both?
Related posts:
- 5 Ways to Maintain Love & Relationships with Women
- Do You Like Making Excuses When Looking for Love?
- A Woman Will Always Challenge You
- One of My Favourite Quotes on Love
- Top Four Reasons Why She Dumped You (Part 3 of 4)
Do you need help with Conversations, Making Friends or Your Dating Life?
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey you really hit it with your last heading! I was wondering “what’s this perception of love that you have going on?” but that your more than right commitment to skills of communication is the best way to bring about love and relationships not the other way around. you do Great work man!
Hey Karl, thanks for the compliment regarding the article. As for your question “What’s this perception of love that you have going on?”
Were you asking me specifically what I believe love actually is? If so I’d be happy to answer it.