Genuine curiosity is key to talking about religion.
I was on a panel discussion at a leadership forum that was run by the Leader Impact Group. A group that talks about faith and how it plays a role in our leadership, business, and personal relationships and how faith can enhance those areas of life. I was invited to dinner beforehand and one of the panelist was Christian. We had started to talk about our own faith backgrounds, and she told me how comfortable she felt talking about Christian religion with myself considering I wasn’t a Christian myself. And we continued to have a personal and meaningful conversation together during dinner.
I consider myself a spiritual person, though I don’t follow any particular organized religious path. I’ve read books on Judaism, Christianity, Islam, and Buddhism as well as books about nature and their gifts. I have always found that there are many people who belong in organized religion who find it very comforting to talk to me. They say it’s easy for them to share and that it was a great joy to have a conversation about religion without someone from the same religion.
What are the secrets then to talking about religion if it is to be brought up by another person in a professional setting.
1) Keep what preconceived notions you have about a certain religion behind and have an open mind. We all talk about racism, and ethnocentrism and all these other isms and yet it can be easily forgotten that to be critical from the very start because a person has affiliated themselves with a religion is not only bad for your professional reputation it also shows that you’re a bigot.
2) Keep an open mind and be curious. Why I’m able to talk about religion comfortably is because I’m more interested in the path that the person has taken to come to the decision to be religious as opposed to focusing on the religion and the history it has had. You have to care about the individual during a conversation in order for that person to be truly comfortable around you. Try to find out their journey into religion.
3) Find commonalities between your beliefs and the beliefs of the religion. I have studied some Christianity, and there are some amazing principles that have really changed my world. Treat thy neighbor as thyself. This is just a spin on the golden rule, treat others the way you wish to be treated. And when I’m able to share some of the beliefs that I have in common with their religion the people feel much more at ease because they feel that I understand them more.
4) Avoid making religion as a single unit. As part of our human nature, we tend to clump groups together because it makes it easier on our brain, the trouble with that is that at times this clumping can cause real havoc to our own social communication. During a conversation never critisize a whole establishment, because religion is still about one person’s beliefs. That’s right, it’s about one person. Just like if you are not a person of faith and are an atheist, then do you appreciate how people would attack how all atheist are the same. Probably not, so why would you not believe that people who are of faith are also individuals. Address them as individuals.
5) Lastly if you were to share some of your views about religion and faith, keep the views about yourself. Avoid generalities as mentioned above, and share why you feel a certain way about certain things. The goal of any good discussion about religion or faith isn’t about who is right and who is wrong, it is about the ability to educate about a new perspective. Letting people know “This is how I see myself being spiritual. And the reason I believe in that is…” You know those extremist who go out of their way and preach to the point that they are one dimensional, well don’t be an extremist in the other end telling people why religion is wrong either. No one likes extremist in general.
Those are rules of engagement when it comes to talking about religion.
How about yourself, do you know any conversation tips that have helped making talking about religion easier?
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