If you’re not satisfied with the social life you have, then there’s one thing that I’m going to suggest. Get REALLY honest with yourself. Only when you start being completely honest about what is missing in your social life will you be able to move forward to the life you truly desire.
Denial Leads to a Poor Social Life
The biggest problem is that we often live our life in denial. We believe that because everything is “okay” so far, that things will improve. Circumstances will only improve when you realize that what you want is not what you are getting. And what you are getting right now is the result of what you are comfortable admitting to myself.
There are several excuses that we make to justify why we are the way we are. “Well I have more friends than that other guy I know,” or “I know they aren’t the best friends to have, but we all have fun when we hang out together.”
To get the social life you want, you have be brutally honest about the type of social skills you are missing. Or the type of personality characteristics you need. Do you need to be ask better questions? Do you need to be a better listener? Do you need to develop more assertiveness in making decisions?
What’s Not Working For You Now?
STOP reading. Take the time to write down five things that are not working in your life. These could be beliefs. These could be actions that you are not taking. These could be social skills you have refused to improve. Or they could be people that are preventing you from getting the social life you want.
Here are some examples:
- I’m just naturally shy.
- Always hanging out with the same people who you don’t consider your friends.
- Staying at home, instead of taking the chance to go and meet new people
- Meeting people who are not going to help elevate you to where you want to be financially in life
- Always hanging out in the same places and hoping that you’ll meet that special someone
- Meeting people who just want to go out and get drunk all the time.
- Thought such as “I’m afraid people will not like me for who I am.”
When you’re done writing down five things, look at that list read them to yourself carefully. Is that the type of social lifestyle you want two or five years from now?
I guarantee you if you don’t change, your social life will be exactly be the same as it is now. And even if you are able to attract the type of people you want they will eventually stop associating with you if they don’t feel that you are the high caliber person they want to associate with.
Understand Why Having a Great Social Life Matters
Now take the time to look at that list. Look carefully at what you need to do to get the dream social lifestyle that you want. And not only set goals, but ask yourself deeply why you want to achieve these goals.
If your goal is to be able to meet 5 close quality friends who would be the closest friends you’ve ever had then you need to know why this is important versus just having 2 close friends. A goal without meaning and without an understanding of the purpose of the journey will be an empty experience.
Get honest about yourself. What do you need to change to create the dream friendships that you want in your life. Only when you become honest with yourself will you be able to move forward.
If you want to find a great way to improve your social life then I would suggest trying out my book Art of Conversation: Enhance Your Charisma for Success. In it it will give you the tools to be a social success. You can try it free for 45 days or your money back.
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