Let’s face it, no one in their right mind actually enjoys being dumped by a girl or a woman. It sucks, it hurts, and it can twist your heart in the dumps for years if you’re not careful. But what grinds my gears is watching how men will continue to repeat the same F****** mistakes and somehow expect their next relationship to get better.
Unfortunately that’s not how any relationship works. If you get fired because you always arrived late at your last job, don’t you think you would expect to be fired from your next job if you decide to show up late.
I’m going to be writing a blog series that is divided into…you guessed it…4 different parts that will look at the reasons she dumped you.
Reason Number 4: You were either a Wuss to Start, or You Became a Wuss Later.
Let’s face it, women don’t want to date other women, unless they were a lesbian. Women want to date a man that is going to be a man. Notice I didn’t say that she’s looking for a bad boy. This is why the term bad boy hasn’t changed to bad man, because boys never grow up. But when you’re communicating with a woman that you’re looking to continue a relationship with then you need to show her that you are confident, assertive and that you’re able to take charge when necessary. You have to be not a man, but THE man to her. Being a real man is a turn on to her.
The Value of Being Assertive as a Turn On to Women:
I once went on a date with a gorgeous brunette that I met at speed dating Halloween event. I got her phone number and called her the next day, and told her the exact time, and the exact place that I would meet her. She told me in almost a pleasantly shocking manner, “That is such a turn on.”
I was in complete shocked and awe from what she said, “Excuse me?”
“You told me where you wanted to meet, what time, and I didn’t have to plan anything, that is such a turn on.”
“Your other dates never suggested places?”
“No they were always overly considerate.”
We never started a relationship because the truth was that I was never quite as assertive afterwards as I was on the phone. I trailed off. What happened to me, happens to a lot of men I meet.
Here are Two things happen that prevent men from surviving long in their relationships.
1) The man was never assertive to begin with and the girl that liked him at first liked that he was shy and innocent at first. She was attracted to his mystique factor. Then she got real sick and tired of taking care of him because she realized he’s a big baby. She’s thinking, “Well it was cute at first, but if this is the way he’s going to act forever, I don’t know how secure and safe I can feel in our relationships. I need a guy that makes me feel safe and can take charge. I don’t want to be with him anymore. I’m going to find someone else.”
or
2) He was assertive to begin with, suggesting places to go, taking charge, and being honest about his opinions without disrespecting her, and then further down the relationship, he got lazy or he was acting assertive to get her attracted at first. Fast forward past the honeymoon phase, she asked him where he wanted to go for dinner, he gave the “I don’t know, where do you want to go?” answer too often. The person she initially found attractive is no longer putting in the effort to take charge. The man she once knew no longer exists. And what happens….the man gets dumped.
Of course what does it exactly mean to be assertive and how can you use this lesson to prevent future dumpings?
1) It means taking charge of places to go on dates, activities you both would enjoy, vacations that you may want to take together, but what it’s not…sitting at home being passive and spending every weekend at home watching movies together.
2) It means that it’s a way of life for you, not a way of manipulating women. If one of your values is courage, then being assertive is a way of life. Being courageous in your life is being assertive.
3) It means expressing your genuine opinions about how you feel about a matter, but also being respectful of what she says to you. Sometimes a difference of opinions may lead to arguments, that is okay, as long as you respect your partner’s views at the end of the day.
Being assertive is attractive to women, it shows that you have confidence, but you’re not trying to be overly dominant. It makes her feel safe and secure so that she knows she’s well taken care of. And being assertive makes you a man, and a masculine energy will always attract a lot of females.
So ladies, what have been some reasons that you’ve dumped previous boyfriends?
In My Next Blog I’ll be discussing…The Number Three Reason why She Dumped You: You have no clue how to emotionally connect with her.
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