Do You Like Making Excuses When Looking for Love?

Let’s face it, you’re looking for love, you tell yourself all sorts of excuses such as “I’m busy with my career” or “It’s not a priority right now.” The truth is if you want to find love in your life, if you want to find someone you want to be able to call that special someone, then you have to get up from your butt and face reality. You have to be able to look in the mirror and ask yourself “How important is dating to you? How important is having the right social skills to meet that soul mate that you’re seeking?”

I meet so many people that tell me that dating is important to them that it’s a 9 or 10 on the commitment scale, or they can feel the extreme pain of being lonely and yet they keep experiencing the same lackluster dating lifestyle. I ask them simply what changes have they made, or have they created a strategy or plan and the answer is overwhelmingly no. Then I ask how their results are, and generally they’re really unhappy with their results. And somehow they believe that all that will change somehow, because of movies or hearing other few cases from people, that someone special will walk into their life miraculously. (You ever notice that the best jobs are found from going out and meeting people and not relying on miracles?) And the worst part is that if you assume that you don’t have to be a different person, or that you don’t need to find ways to improve yourself to attract that special someone then I’m here to tell you that you are DEAD WRONG. !

I can tell you that life will catch up to you, because if you’re not willing to do what it takes to find love, then guess what, you’re probably not going to do what it takes to maintain and keep a relationship going with that special someone. I don’t care what people say about accepting others for who they are, there has to be at least one person that’s willing to have the courage to change if any long term relationship is to survive. And you know where that leads to if you don’t have the maturity to change and improve your life and get the long term relationship skills needed..you become part of the 50% divorce rate.

I can tell you that at 26 I was sick and tired and fed up of where my social life was going. Of where my dating life was going and I can tell you that I ended up spending $1800 for a weekend workshop to change my life. I went out there and continued to practice the skills that my social instructor taught me even though my heart was beating like crazy, sweat was dripping, I was constantly frustrated and times where I would go home and just feel depressed that I wasn’t able to get a date. But that doesn’t mean there weren’t some great dates a long the way, that I didn’t meet women that made me into a better man, and that also taught me a lot about who I was…

It was a rough time, and I’ll tell you this. Every person I know that took their social life seriously had to make a major overhaul to his life. He had to figure out what wasn’t working and then put in their time to improve it. Some of these people I was even surprised. Such as one of my former clients was a teacher. And some of them went through great pain, and great triumph. I would hear women that would go on over 100 dates before they found their current boyfriend, or meeting guys that would go home at night and cry because they would try so hard and nothing worked, and then all of a sudden it clicked and they were attracting more women in their life then they ever thought was possible.

What was different was that these people made dating a priority in life. They decided to make it a 10 goal and to actually commit to it. And do you know what commitment is? Commitment is doing what you said you would do, long after the feeling of motivation is gone. So if you think dating should be easy, or you think finding love is supposed to be this natural part of life, I can tell you that if it was as natural as eating we wouldn’t be so obsessed about it in our society.

If you want to live in a fantasy and try to pretend that things are alright, then that’s fine. A person that has debt to handle, still needs to manage their debt before he or she can become a millionaire. So if you have a dating debt, face your demons head on, be courageous and try to make an improvement. Make an improvement in your social skills. Make an improvement in your flirting skills. Make an improvement on your communication skills. Go on more dates. Ask those strangers out. Whatever you do, don’t keep doing the same thing!

Face your dating fears head on. And realize that when you do, and you do something about them, the very least you will grow. And learning to grow and act in spite of fear is one of the most attractive qualities to have when finding love. I can tell you all the time I spent, all the money I invested to improve myself has been completely worth it. I’m in a place in my life that the woman I’m with I feel confident that she’s the one I want to be with for the rest of my life.

So tell me what do you think, do you think that we need to take action or that love just happens when we least expect it?

For more on finding out how to attract that special someone in your life visit Conversation Arts.

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