The moment you read the headline you probably thought to yourself, “Oh geez, I wish I could tell you the number of dates that I’ve been on that just feel like complete garbage.”
Hey, I relate, no man or woman is immune to “Dates from Hell.” No one goes out there to intentionally have bad first dates, but they can be minimized. In this article we look at the five warning signs that the first date you’re going on sucks. But let me share with you a personal story first.
The Date Where I made a Girl Cry
I remember five years back before I started being a dating coach I asked one of my co-workers out for a dinner date. We had a good conversation and a few laugh. There were some nice sincere moments, but nothing special came out of it. As the dinner came to a close, I offered to pay for our meal.
She said she was happy to pay for her share. I told her that I insisted on paying for both our meals. I figured I was being a gentleman. What happened next was something I’ll always remember. When I assertively insisted that I pay for the bill she kept fighting back to split it. I asked her how come she was so adamant about not letting me pay in friendly and joking manner, and she couldn’t give me one single reason other than it made her uncomfortable.
Eventually what happened was that she was welling up in tears. When she couldn’t find a good reason for me not to pay for the full me, she got even more upset, and it looked like she was going to cry. I can tell that that particular date didn’t end well at all. Mostly because I was confused by why she wouldn’t let me pay. The date went downhill from there and we never went on a second date.
But that’s one of my dates. But how do you know the first date your on sucks?
Warning Sign 1: Talking about the Ex
Don't Let Your Date go Down in the Dumps
He or she decides to start talking about their ex. No matter how many times women’s magazines or advice columns telling people not talk about their ex , somebody always does on their date. HUGE TURN OFF. If you find your date is talking about their ex a lot… the first date you’re on…sucks.
Warning Sign 2: One Person is Doing all the Talking
Dates are supposed to be a time when two people are getting to know each other mutually. You want to know about who she is, and she should also want to know about who you are.
If one person is doing all the talking then this is not a date, it’s a lecture. I don’t care how fascinating you are, or how fascinated you believe she is….you both have to share in the talking.
If one person is doing all the talking, then the date you’re on…sucks.
Warning Sign 3: Who Killed the Laughter?
You don’t need to know everything about him. You may go home and feel that you didn’t have any deep conversations where he revealed himself to be a master of the Zen Arts. That’s okay. But you definitely have to ask yourself does he have a sense of humour?
If you’re on a date, and you notice that either you’re the only one laughing, or that no one is laughing, then the date you’re on…sucks.
Warning Sign 4: Where Did the Flirting Disappear To?
Okay. I know that there are some people that have gotten some great dates without flirting. They may have done it through impressive intellectual stimulation or something or other. But let’s face it, we are sexual beings. We have turn ons and turn offs.
Flirting is a turn on. It allows us to know that the person we are on a date with is interested in us. Flirting is on a date is as essential as having conflict in a movie for it to be interesting. When there is no flirting by both parties on the date…then the date you’re on sucks.
Warning Sign 5: You Already Knew it was Going to Suck
I’m an optimist. But I believe there’s a fine balance between being optimistic and trusting your gut. If you meet a person and you have some chemistry together then you should be optimistic about having a great time on your date.
But…if you have this gut feeling that the date you’re going on is going to be terrible. Then chances are it will. This usually results in saying yes to a date you don’t want to go on. And when you go there, all you do is reconfirm that you made a bad decision. Don’t ignore your gut or else you may find yourself on a first date…that’s right..that sucks.
Come back and look for our next blog post which will look at the lighter and funnier side of dating and it will be 5 Signs Your First Date is Horrendous.
Check out my e-book Art of Conversation: Enhance Your Charisma for Success to ensure that your first date is one filled with fantastic conversation.
What do you think, what are the warning signs you believe that a first date is going down the drain?
Related posts:
- Why Dating Conversations are not Relationship Conversations
- The Top Four Reasons Why She Dumped You (Part 1 of 4)
Do you need help with Conversations, Making Friends or Your Dating Life?
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I have had few dates in my life and I’m sad to say that most of them sucks. It was my ignorance about the no-no’s of dating that have botched my attempt to win someone. I wish I have had these information in the past.
Well, at least I’ve learned my lesson but in a hard way.
Hey Walter,
Thanks for sharing. I checked out your site, and it has some great stuff. As for the mistakes on dates I made a lot growing up. It’s hard to imagine any man that was perfect on all his dates, but like you were saying having some information and knowing when to apply it makes everybody’s love life a little easier.